Posted on March 12, 2012 by Leah Apple
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I decided to make this entire series black and white, although I did give some of the photos a more greenish hue in an attempt to capture a more dream-like, ‘Wizard of Oz’ kind of an environment. The purely black and white photos represent the undeniable reality.
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Early 19th Century to Present
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Sarah lives inside of her own head. She has recently been experimenting with a sort of “old-world” look: high-neck, drop waist dresses, and modest collared blouses. She enjoys shopping for antique art, and together, we have enjoyed admiring daguerreotypes in second hand stores. The daguerreotype (next to Sarah’s portrait) inspired the lead photo because I was struck by how much power and emotion it captured in spite of the fact that the viewer does not see the girl’s eyes. Similarly, the photograph of Sarah next to it explores the ridges and texture of her face without being distracted by the eyes.
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The Eyes are the Window to the Soul
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Sarah finally lifts her gaze and momentarily, invites me into her world. I see that what I first perceived as aloofness is actually depth. Her penetrating stare reveals someone who is deeply contemplative, and perhaps lonely and vulnerable. Sarah reveals that for the first time in her life, she feels “weak” within her relationship. Whereas she’s used to feeling like she wields the power, Sarah now feels like she might be more in love with her boyfriend than he is with her.
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Passion
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As she begins to expose herself, I notice subtle changes in Sarah’s gaze. She is still collected, composed, but she cannot mask her sadness. The intensity of her stare is emblematic of Sarah as a person: she is passionate about everything she does. Now though, when she feels that her passion is unrequited within her relationship, Sarah wonders whether she needs to lower her intensity level, and ponders how to go about changing herself.
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On her Turf
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“I need to have a discussion with my boyfriend,” Sarah states vehemently. “I need to tell him how I feel.” She wants this conversation to take place on “her turf” though, so that she can feel like she has control over the location, even if she doesn’t have a say in the relationship. We head over to her apartment to take photos in her own environment.
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Confidence
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It’s nice to see Sarah in her own environment. She radiates confidence in every pose, and it strikes me now, just how difficult it must be for her to feel as if her love is not reciprocated. But this photo proves that she has not lost her ego altogether; she is still well-aware of what a striking young woman she is.
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Laughter
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Albeit brief, Sarah finds herself smiling and laughing in front of the camera. She is so unaware of herself, and it is charming. I am grateful to have been able to capture this moment if for no other reason than to remind her of what it is like to not feel as though you’re posturing every moment, consciously acting in a certain way in the hopes of gaining another persons affection. Sarah’s naturalness is her greatest strength.
About the Author: Leah Apple is a junior enrolled in the College of the University of Pennsylvania, Class of 2013































