Posted on April 15, 2016 by Carolyn Wong
To the boy who hurt me
It’s strange to think about it now;
how everything has changed
and moved forward.
Free from the guilt –
almost from the sadness.
Not broken; not quite ‘healed’.
But I can trust, and feel, and maybe
Maybe even love.
No longer weighed down
and fear –
you’re just a memory
that will fade over time.
I don’t hate you
even though sometimes I wished I could tear you apart
and see the look of sincere shock on your face
when I told you.
I wished you could suffer the consequences of your actions,
but I didn’t want your life to be over.
You don’t know anything.
If you did, would it eat away at your conscience?
Would it stick with you
echoing in the back of your head
and pull you beneath the surface
until you can’t think of anything else?
Would it consume you
until you believe
that you are in fact worthless?
I don’t know what you know
and I no longer care to tell you
because I am stronger
and forgive myself for my weakness.
You are not
because you felt the need to take
What was not yours.
So no, I will not condemn you to the pain I felt:
the tears and disgust,
the self loathing and sadness,
I will not put you through
those sleepless nights.
But I hope that I didn’t make the wrong decision
by letting you off easy.
Photography and Text by Carolyn Wong, Copyright 2016.
About The Author: Carolyn Wong is a sophomore majoring in International Relations at the University of Pennsylvania, Class of 2018.