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Carolyn Wong: To The Boy Who Hurt Me - Tony Ward Studio

Carolyn Wong: To The Boy Who Hurt Me

Carolyn_Wong_Photography_Portraiture_Zoe_Sad_Thinking_Lonely_Hurt_Alone_Confused_Broken_Tired_Empty_Depressed

Posted on April 15, 2016 by Carolyn Wong

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To the boy who hurt me

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It’s strange to think about it now;

how everything has changed

and moved forward.

Free from the guilt –

almost from the sadness.

Not broken; not quite ‘healed’.

 

Carolyn_Wong_Photography_Portraiture_Zoe_Sad_Dejected_Heartbreak_Lonely_Loneliness_Bedroom_Thoughts_Breakup_Broken_Empty

But I can trust, and feel, and maybe

Maybe even love.

No longer weighed down

by doubt

and fear –

you’re just a memory

that will fade over time.

Carolyn_Wong_Photography_Portraiture_Zoe_Sad_Crying_Tears_Lonely_Broken_Empty_Confused

I don’t hate you

even though sometimes I wished I could tear you apart

and see the look of sincere shock on your face

when I told you.

I wished you could suffer the consequences of your actions,

but I didn’t want your life to be over.

You don’t know anything.

Do you?

Carolyn_Wong_Photography_Portraiture_LivingRoom_GoodMood_Thinking_Smile

If you did, would it eat away at your conscience?

Would it stick with you

echoing in the back of your head

and pull you beneath the surface

until you can’t think of anything else?

Would it consume you

until you believe

that you are in fact worthless?

Carolyn_Wong_Photography_Portaiture_Zoe_Pretty_Happy_Natural_Smile_Room_Love_Keratin_Hair_Brunette

I don’t know what you know

and I no longer care to tell you

because I am stronger

and forgive myself for my weakness.

You are not

because you felt the need to take

What was not yours.

gorgeous young beauty from Upenn

So no, I will not condemn you to the pain I felt:

the tears and disgust,

the self loathing and sadness,

I will not put you through

those sleepless nights.

But I hope that I didn’t make the wrong decision

by letting you off easy.

 

Photography and Text by Carolyn Wong, Copyright 2016.

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Portrait of Carolyn Wong by Leniqueca Welcome, Copyright 2016
Portrait of Carolyn Wong by Leniqueca Welcome, Copyright 2016

About The Author: Carolyn Wong is a sophomore majoring in International Relations at the University of Pennsylvania, Class of 2018.

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