depression Archives - Tony Ward Studio

Gregory Lewis: Shadows

Posted on March 23, 2015 by Gregory Lewis

“Here is the tragedy: when you are the victim of depression, not only do you feel utterly helpless and abandoned by the world, you also know that very few people can understand, or even begin to believe, that life can be this painful. There is nothing I can think of that is quite as isolating as this.” – Giles Andreae

Often as we go about lives we fail to notice that those near us are going through difficult times. Several of which struggle with mental illness such as schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder and clinical depression. 1 in 10 Americans suffer from depression at one point or another. However, over 80% of people with clinical symptoms are not receiving treatment for their depression.

Jessica was a first generation college student who graduated valedictorian of her high school . Her entire school was excited when she was accepted into an Ivy League institution. Jessica was moving quite far away from home but she deemed it worth it as she was pursuing her dreams at her dream school.

Jessica was quick to make friends once she began college because of her “bubbly personality”. However, several months after being on campus she became extremely homesick. Additionally, her boyfriend of 4 years began what would eventually be two tours in Iraq. Jessica latter admitted that this added significant stress in her life as she was constantly worried about his well-being. Further adding to Jessica’s stress was her grades began to slip.

Jessica began avoiding interactions with other and even stopped going to classes. Her eating habits completely changed and she began hating her body. She even said at one point that she wanted to just, “end it all”.

Thankfully, Jessica had made a close friend in her first few weeks at her school. This friend would constantly check on Jessica and encourage her to go to class. Eventually, with the encouragement of this friend, sought professional help to address this change. After having being diagnosed with clinical depression Jessica began to fight this crippling disease. Jessica still has a long road ahead of her but she looks forward to the future with a positive outlook.

About the Author: Gregory Lewis is majoring in Nursing, enrolled in the Wharton School of Business, University of Pennsylvania, Class of 2015.

Jinxiang Wu: Love From a Distance

Posted on February 4, 2015 by Jinxiang Wu

It all started when Connie was in high school. She had this big crush on a guy who she never talked to. One day she was on Facebook lurking at random people, and she saw this picture of a guy who looked exactly like the guy she had the crush on, so she decided to friend request the random guy, a fellow by the name of Matt, from the USA.

Matt seemed nice, funny, had enormous charm and a great sense of humor. Connie started to have feelings for him. They entered a long distance relationship utilizing every tool and technology possible. Four months went by, and so she asked her dad if he could send her to the United States to study English. Her dad said, “Hey that’s a good idea.” She was so exited she told Matt right away. He was so happy, they started planning all the stuff they would do once they were to meet for the first time.

Time passed so fast. They started to have so many problems. She was so mad because he never called, not even once. Connie called him two times. The conversations were the same. He stopped sending her messages on Facebook. They only talked on MSN. He used to say he was busy and all. She felt so much pressure because two months ago she talked to her parents about him and they agreed for her to go to the U.S. to meet him. So one night she came home very sad and frustrated because she thought about him all day long and he wasn’t showing any real interest in the relationship. She communicated to him on MSN again and said, “This is over, I don’t want this anymore…it’s not the same I don’t know what to do this anymore” and he only replied with, “okay”~

Another week passed and while she was logged in to her Facebook account she saw, “Matt is now in a relationship” in his status. Her first reaction was speechlessness, then her breathing started to raise, and the next minute tears were running down her face. She asked him why and he said, “It just happened”…

She got depressed. Didn’t want to go out with friends and she stopped talking to her parents because she was ashamed. Connie chose to keep her words to herself. She chose to never talk about him again because everyone knew what he did, and she used to hear the same words from her friends every time she talked about him, that it wouldn’t have worked out anyway as it was a long distance relationship. The friends said: ” Get over it!” “He’s a jerk move on!” Now she is faking a smile everyday. It will take a long time for her to get over it.

Photography and Text by Jinxiang Wu

About the Author: Jinxiang Wu is a graduate student at the University of Pennsylvania.

Jesi Kim: Grieving

Posted on February 22, 2015 by Jesi Kim

The death of a loved one impacts each individual in varying manners. Many theories involving grief have been established, but it seems unrealistic to force a pre-determined linear path into such an individualized process. The loss of someone who is so dear can lead to a cluster of emotions that range from depression to regret.

The thought of never being able to see her father again is a source of confusion for her as if she went back when she was in second grade and could not explain why her mother was crying alone on the bed. The same sinking feeling that sucked her in and made her feel like she was falling into an eternal abyss, uncertain whether this feeling would ever subside.

However, sometimes she sees her father, smiling at her like he always did. She describes them as her “sweetest dreams”. She knows that when she wakes up from this state, he will disappear and she will once again be without a father. That vivid dream where his touch was gentle and his touch was warm haunts her.

She begins to regret her actions. If only she had known that her time with her dad would be so precious, she would not have expressed that annoyance towards him. If she had it her way every moment would have been nicer, sweeter, more pleasant. She would show him nothing but how much love she has for him.

However, she has to realize that her father is still with us. He will always have a presence in this world through the impact that he has had and her memory that keeps him alive. He thought that “watching [his] daughter graduate from college, walking her down the aisle, teaching [his] grandchildren how to fish” would not be a possibility, but he was mistaken. Although he has changed into a new form, he is still very much present, and is proudly smiling at what she has become.

About the Author: Jesi Kim is a senior enrolled in the Engineering School of the University of Pennsylvania, Class of 2015.

About the Model: Naomi Tsai is a senior enrolled in the College of the University of Pennsylvania, Class of 2015.