Kitchie Ohh: Beyond The Playground

 

Text by Kitchie Ohh, Copyright 2022

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Photography by Tony Ward, Copyright 2022

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Creative Direction: KVaughn

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Hair & Makeup: Michael Connor

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Photography Assistant: Anthony Colagreco

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BEYOND THE PLAYGROUND

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Most often, when we think of a bully, we think about the bigger kid on the playground picking on the smaller ones; pushing them around or beating them up for their lunch money.  The problem is so much more complex and, I can assure you from experience, it goes well beyond the schoolyard; running rampant in office settings, social groups, and in families around the world. 

I have already shared at a very surface level that I suffered years of verbal abuse from my peers growing up. The daily reminders of everything that was wrong with me lead me to believe that they must be right. I just wasn’t good enough, and it hurt like hell. I did my best to avoid anything that made me a target. I faded into the background, withdrew into myself, and watched with a mixture of relief and extreme Catholic guilt as the bullseyes were drawn on other kids’ backs. I coasted, invisible, right on through high school graduation. Paralyzed with fear that I would encounter a new crop of bullies with new things to hate about me, I opted out of college. I did explore my independence by moving out of my parents home.  

Entering the workforce, full-time as a teenager, I was kind of a novelty in the office. I was, and still am, incredibly responsible, dedicated and hard-working. Only now, I’m nowhere near as naive. I often found myself responsible for my workload, plus the things that coworkers didn’t want to do. Experience told me that speaking up would make me a target, so I just did the work and kept my mouth shut. Soon, I was doing the work and taking the blame for nearly everything that went wrong or didn’t get finished, even if I had nothing to do with it. I had countless meetings about performance-related problems that weren’t actually mine. Someone needed to be reprimanded, might as well be me. They knew I wouldn’t fight back. Next, I was pushed into covering extra hours, holidays, all the shifts no one else wanted. “You’re not dating anyone, you don’t have kids, no reason you can’t do this. You don’t have anything to do.” Ouch. If I ever was lucky enough to have a day off, the very next time in the office I was berated with how inconvenient my absence was for everyone.  I did eventually reach my limit and left.

Having learned a little bit about office dynamics and politics, the next job was a vast improvement.  Not perfect, but I gained some respect – and learned how to set some professional boundaries. This angered the office bully. They came for me, personally. I declined a happy hour invitation. They told everyone I wasn’t coming because I thought I was “too good” for them. I ate salad for lunch and it was clearly and directly a statement about the unhealthy choices they made for their midday meal. Leaving the office for the gym every evening was an equally heinous rebellion against them. A prominent member of the community left one of our events saying “see you later, hon.” The minute we were back at the office, I was accused of having an affair with this married man. Everything I did was wrong, but I wasn’t doing anything!

Things that happened at that job were the final straw. I was working in that position at the time I had my revelation that not one of the names I was called, not a single thing I was accused of, or made to do, had a damn thing to do with me. That realization gave me back all of my power and my voice. I didn’t – and don’t – need to shrink myself down, make myself invisible or watered down for the benefit of another. I can say no, I can refuse to take on more than I’m able, I can defend myself against insults and allegations. Professionally, personally, socially, in relationships. I am worthy of respect and should not accept less.

It’s an ongoing process of undoing all of the damage; I don’t think it will ever be finished. There will always be people who just can’t hold their tongues. Their obligation to point out flaws, try to exploit them, and put others down is a force they just cannot resist. I could write a whole book of very scathing stories, with damning details from various people who have entered and thankfully exited my life over the years. But like I said, their behavior has got nothing at all to do with me. Neither forgiven or forgotten, I’ve accepted, let go and moved on. And I am so much better for it. 

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About The Author:

Kitchie Ohh is a full-time professional fundraiser who has worked with a number of health and human services nonprofits for over the last 20 years, currently with a food-related Philadelphia nonprofit. She found her passion for modeling after a pinup-style photoshoot in 2013. Since then shes worked with many talented photographers, stylists, hair and makeup artists in a variety of styles.  She has been featured in -and on the covers of- multiple print and digital publications. Over the years she has branched out from pinup studio modeling to serve as a figure model for live sketching, walked a runway, and was part of two campaigns for local Philadelphia designer K. Vaughn. 

In addition to her food insecurity-related work, she has also volunteered with art, historical, and community organizations, and even on the events team of a local brewery, pre-pandemic.  

Youre just as likely to find her whipping up something deliciously plant-based in her kitchen or knitting a sweater as you are to find her on a photography set. Her motto is be both.” The model and the homemaker,  sultry and sweet, serious and silly. All the things, all at once.  

 

Milan Burnett: A Gift From The Universe


Text by Milan Burnett, Copyright 2022

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Photographs by Tony Ward.  All Rights Reserved.

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A Gift From The Universe

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As a spiritualist, I am not someone who necessarily believes in coincidences. Every person we interact with, major event, or circumstance finds its way into our lives for a reason, whether we understand that reasoning at the time, or not. Throughout my childhood, my mother struggled to keep a roof over our heads, causing us to relocate often, sometimes multiple times in a year. At the time, I deemed the instability and hardship as a misfortune, but I always had a knack for making friends and adapting to new environments with ease. Being exposed to all cultures and walks of life made it easy for me to understand others. I could relate to anybody in a room full of strangers. People have always naturally gravitated towards me, which I assumed to be simply because I was a nice person. Little did I know, the universe was only setting the stage for a greater purpose much larger than my circumstances, destined to be fulfilled.

It wasn’t until within the last couple of years that I realized why the Universe has put me on the journey I’ve experienced so far. My humanitarian nature of giving back and helping others has gradually intertwined itself with my spiritual practices, and my love for the psychology of humans. This, along with being easily relatable, has allowed me to explore and expand on my purpose of healing others around me. Whether it be through my tarot reading, spiritual guidance, or simple positive reinforcement, inner healing and balance is extremely important in the midst of this chaotic 3D reality. No amount of value could ever be placed on the genuine satisfaction it gives me to be able to guide others in their healing to become a better version of themselves. Past experiences I once saw as a burden, I now consider a blessing in disguise. A gift from the universe, if you will. A gift that has molded me into someone who is compassionate, empathetic, logical and raw, wrapped in high frequency vibrations meant to enlighten those I encounter.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR : Milan is originally from New York, now residing in Philadelphia. Aspiring model and real estate broker. Free thinker. Humanitarian by nature. Spiritual revolutionary in the making. To access previous articles by Milan Burnett, click here: https://tonywardstudio.com/blog/i-am_that_i_am/

Mikel Elam: Trauma


Text and Art by Mikel Elam, Copyright 2022

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Trauma

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Imagine how much trauma there must be in the world . All of the acts of disrespect on the planet and to the planet. In some ways we might be kinder to our pets . Not that there is anything wrong with giving our pets love . It just that we don’t give ourselves enough of the same energy .

Then we wake up and fake it . Fake life . Fake ego. Fake values and Fake intentions. Multiply that by billions of incidences throughout the world . I would say we are all in need of therapy. How can we think we are a good person if everyday we look the other way when something doesn’t suit us . Keeping silent when you hear a slur about someone else is the same as being a contributor. We are powerful beings if we try . We can make a difference in someone’s life .

Use technology with all of its faults . If someone is in distress call for help . Document it. The first time this was done was with Rodney King . Without the unnamed citizen who caught the beating , the incident would have just been erased. Reach out to someone you don’t know . Keep an open mind . Leave our judgements at home . Be present.

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About The Artist: Mikel Elam was born in Philadelphia. He attended the University of the Arts receiving his BFA in painting. He also attended the School of the Visual Arts in New York. He has been showing his paintings in numerous gallery spaces nationally and internationally for the last 25 years. Mikel is currently an artist in residence at the Fitler Club in Philadelphia.

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To see more of Mikel Elam’s artwork, link here: https://tonywardstudio.com/blog/mikel-elam-our-collective-consciousness/

Katie Kerl: The Long Haul

 

Photography and Text by Katie Kerl, Copyright 2022

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The Long Haul

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I am trying to remember the last thing I wrote here and I can not. Life is such a mind fuck. Yes, I said mind fuck. I had covid right after my father died in December and it is now March 30th. In between that time symptoms come and go every few weeks just as If I had covid again.

I write about wellness all the time, I take care of myself, I got the shots, I bought any and everything to get better. I felt absolutely insane complaining about being sick like this because not one person I knew felt that way except the one other person who got it when I did. 

Months have past, doctors called, prescriptions written, and NOTHING.

I will go for one or two weeks and be completely fine. Then taken down again.  All of this I was not fine with but it was manageable. I could not work out, and slept like a narcoleptic cat. If you know me, sleep is not really my forte. 

The thing that finally was enough? 

Standing in an upholstery store with my mother and getting chest pains across my back shoulder blades and down my arms. 

I’m standing there trying not to upset my mother who just lost my father but the pain just kept spreading.  

We ended up in the ER and the woman said this is the most common trait of long haul covid. She kind of smiled with a concerned look on her face and let me know she could give me a recommendation for a pulmonary doctor, but I would be waiting months out like everyone else. 

MONTHS you could have serious damage to your internal organs and this woman is saying months. 

I really feel for the first responders who have patients like me sitting there saying now what with zero resolution ZERO.

A week later that pain has subsided . I am still run down, but much better. 

I decided I am going to live my life freely. 

Not that I don’t now, but in a much different way. I will not waste my time doing things I do not want to do. I will see all the things I want to see, take care of my mom, make meaningful connections ,and help as many people as possible in the time that I have here. 

The fact so many people have died leads me to believe the ones who are left were meant to move on to the next phase of life. 

I am currently sitting in Atlanta at my work experience center area in Atlantic Station . Thinking how much personal work went into sitting here today. Also, how lucky I am to be in such a forward thinking company. 

On my way to the airport I passed my old job. 

Nothing had changed, the same workers, and I was no longer confined to a building. Amazing business to have the opportunity to design restaurants. I did not want to be a body in a store designing or not. 

Last night on the news they said 4 million + people quit their jobs this month. The great resignation is an ongoing thing. You can watch the United States unravel daily. People are fed up. If you play it right you can make a living on Instagram and Tik Tok. That will never be totally for me, but for the people pushing out content three times a day…. GET THAT MONEY

Did I mention we are at war??? Not that I need to tell anyone but,  It is 2022 and I feel like we may be using some of those fallout training we were made to do in elementary school. If anyone thinks for a second we’re just safe here I beg you to think again. To all of my Ukrainian friends and just the large population of Russian and Ukrainian people in the Philadelphia area. My heart goes out to both sides. People with families suffering, and ones who are being ridiculed for being Russian. When are we just going to accept PEOPLE as PEOPLE ?!?!? That is the entire point of the world catching fire the last three years. 

Start living your best life now. Not tomorrow, not when you feel better, not when you lost weight, and not when you are in a better place .

This piece is going to be as ADD as my brain. 

Anyone that has read my past pieces knows that I invest, and am into crypto. For the second time Game Stop and AMC have short squeezed. I held my AMC after trading it many times. I have watched CNBC daily for two years. The first time they said get into crypto was just a few weeks ago right after the war started. There are metaverse and crypto commercials daily on that channel. I had said to many people; crypto will run up again after the shorted stocks do.  That is not a new occurrence, more people just caught on. 

I took those gains right to my crypto. 

I am not sure why so many people hate crypto when the stock market is corrupt. If you could potentially double your business revenue from NFTs & the Metaverse are you really that averse to change you would miss out on this type of real wealth?

Teenagers are making more money than their parents because they get it, just like social media. We are going to see more digital millionaires and billionaires in our lifetime because of this.  

My company just created a metaverse, crypto coin, our own wallet, and avatars.

I highly suggest researching  blockchain, stable coins,  utility coins, transaction based, metaverse related ,and get into some of it now. 

Before some are too high to buy into . Get Kracken /Gemini apps, and get interest on your crypto and your US dollar coin. 

The Gemini dollar  is like 8% some apps up to 12% in some cases. 

You become the bank. 

One of the old school banks I had an account left in infuriated me. They blocked some of my crypto trades. The teller’s response?  “ We are trying to protect you”. Excuse me, overdraft fees ,0% on your savings ,and cards that do not work internationally just sound like they were controlling how I spend.  I have never been happier switching than when I did. 

It is two days after my 38th Birthday. Last year I was in Miami partying at Miami Music Week. Those few days always set me free. For the first time in a decade I came to the vivid realization that week was no longer for me. At least not in that way.

I still love Miami though. I went in December and did it a much different way. We went to Strawberry Moon pool ,and Dante’s HiFi. Rich Medina played an awesome vinyl set. What I took away from the two experiences; I don’t want to be at your oversold party, I do not want to get treated like a piece of meat at your table, or on your boat with strangers. I am not for sale. Granted not all of Miami is like this, but its the majority of d*ck swinging men trying to get the most pretty women to party with them. 

My goal is to own the boat.  

They say you meet people at the most unexpected times. If you would have told me I would meet someone at 3 am at a party we both didn’t intend on being at and bonding over Solana.( you would probably ask me what that is. I will let you google that and maybe it will inspire you.) It is now about to be April and he is as supportive of me, my goals, my dad’s death, being covid sick forever, and I am not easy to deal with for most people given my be yourself attitude. 

Alice crossed a Mad Hatter who was just as out there and caring as her. 

We will see how far this rabbit hole goes lol. 

I am beyond blessed and thankful for the life I have right now. 

Am I still grieving ? Absolutely

Do I still have awful reoccurring covid symptoms 100%

Did I just drop  enough money into crypto in the last four month to help all that just a bit. 

You are damn right I did. 

Tomorrow I am going to a women’s executive networking event being hosted by KewCali of the Fostered Foundation in Atlanta. It is called The Kewl Experience. One Hundred women coming together to progress forward. 

My ability to connect real people together is kind of my superpower. Sounds funny, but I owe everything I have to building relationships.

People ridicule you for going through acquaintances or friends. I will never understand that. If you do not change your circle how will you ever change your life? 

How do you grow without expanding your reach and trying new things ?

I usually have some meaningful closing to these pieces. 

Not this time. It is more of a warning. 

LIVE 

I do not care what you do; just START. 

As someone who decided to do just that; I can’t wait to see more people in this position. A position to design your life. Not have it dictated to you. 

While I never felt grief like this, I feel free.

No one will be taking that from me.

 I walked through my fire . I dare you to do the same.

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portrait of Katie Kerl, lifestyle writer for Tony Ward Studio
Katie Kerl. Spring of 2022

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Katie Kerl was raised in Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania. She is currently living  in Northern Liberties, Philadelphia. Katie has a background in Psychology from Drexel University. She is a manager in the commercial/residential design field . Katie can be reached  on Instagram @kerlupwithkate 

For collaboration e-mail: Kate.kerl32@gmail.com

To access additional article by Katie Kerl, click here:  https://tonywardstudio.com/blog/katie-kerl-philly-reloaded-life-after-lockdown/